beginning here and now

I have spent many hours thinking, "I need to write this stuff down..."

My life as a medical oncologist is stressful and meaningful, and so complex. Cancer is vicious in so many ways and I struggle many days to head in to work, knowing the sadness that could be waiting at every turn. I have seen grief that would be too much even for Hollywood to capture. I have felt the heartbreak of true suffering, fear, loneliness, despair - all of it.

But in the midst of every storm, I feel the presence of God giving me the strength and the knowledge of what I must do, in every circumstance. I see the presence of God in my patient's lives, and in the journeys they make through this fearful dreaded disease. I feel compelled to share those daily experiences with people, and I am regretful that it has taken me this long to do it...I have been in private practice now for 9 years, and I can clearly see -  every single day -  how God has orchestrated my career to glorify only Him. Whether I somehow end up in the emergency department at 10:00 on Christmas eve, or I am back in the office for another "routine" day, I know that I am where God has placed me for that moment. I am always mystified and amazed at how differently His plans are for me on a day to day basis, as opposed to what plans I think I have for myself.

We are best when we surrender our plans and pray without ceasing that we will always be in the place where He places us. Whether we are needed in a hospital or in a grocery store...He has great works for us. We are continually blessed with His presence.

I hope this writing will touch your heart the way my heart has been touched with the experiences I have had as a medical oncologist. My stories must be respectful to my patients, and I will have to write in a way that no identity of a single patient will be disclosed. But I feel led to share here. So prayerfully I will try to do so, and I hope you will pray for me too....

1 Thessalonians 5:17 "Pray without ceasing..."