Finding balance Every day

Finding balance

James 1:2-4

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

In high school and growing up, I was never athletic. I never had the desire to be. I participated in sports but I was uncoordinated, uninterested, and self conscious. All the attributes of a tall lanky teenager worried about what her friends would think, I was uninspired. My talents were in the classroom. I excelled in school, bookwork that is. I never dreaded class, or tests. That part came easy to me. I guess I realize now that my path was headed towards medicine at a very young age, since math and science were absolutely my favorite classes in school. I looked forward to the science fair more than I looked forward to homecoming. Even now, I have a hard time admitting that!

But a particularly strange thing happened to me a few years back. All of the sudden, I found myself exhausted every day, with no energy to even last through a typical work day without feeling like I wanted a nap. My joints and bones started aching. I had a hard time standing up from a chair if I had been sitting too long. I felt like my body just would not cooperate. All at once I felt I had aged 30 years. I have always tried to maintain some type of exercise. I went swimming before work when I was an intern in Richmond at MCV hospitals. I would walk on the treadmill. I like to go to the gym and get on the stairclimber or elliptical. But at this point in my life, even those activities were increasingly difficult to fit in my schedule, and when I finally found the time to go to the gym, I was simply to tired or achy to work out. I gained weight and basically felt miserable. I was increasingly relying on Starbucks to get me through the day. Caffeine was effective, but even that lost its power after a while. Work suffered and I was irritable with my job, my staff. I dreaded going in every day. I didn't want to get out of bed in the mornings. I was clearly sinking into an abyss of darkness and I did not even have a desire to climb out of it for a while.

One very fateful afternoon, I remember sitting in the living room with my husband watching the 2008 summer Olympics. The marathon was on and I remember feeling totally captivated watching the runners. They were so lean, and so fast, and so limber. I had tried to run a VERY FEW TIMES in my life....I am sure never more than 10 minutes per effort...and I simply gave out of breath. I concluded with certain confidence that "I am just not a runner." I rationalized that some people are runners and some are not. Clearly, I had been in good shape before...I mean, I could climb a Stairmaster for 45 minutes straight...but since I could not run for more than 10 minutes, there must be something genetically different about me that renders me incapable of being a runner. I had friends who were runners, but I was just not like them.

But as I sat there watching the Olympic runners participate in the marathon, and hearing the commentators talk about their stories, I was struck with the idea that I should give it another try - an honest try. I needed something, after all, since my body was clearly falling apart by the day, based how bad I had been feeling.

My first half marathon Richmond VA 2009

So I started running. At first on the treadmill for 30-60 second intervals....yes, 30 to 60 SECONDS. Running was hard....especially at the age of 37, when my body had NEVER experienced such TRAUMA. Running was worse than being up all night on call working in the ICU in downtown Richmond at MCV...What a wimp I was! How had I let this happen to my body!! But I perservered, and gradually I worked up to 30 minutes running on the treadmill. I set my sites on running outdoors.  After letting my legs adjust to the different surface....asphalt is much harsher on the legs than a cushioned treadmill surface...I again gradually worked up to about a 30 minute walk-jog. I found a friend to run with, which turned out to be one of the greatest blessings in my life. A running partner quickly becomes a great friend when you endure literally hours together pounding the pavement and talking, solving all of the world's problems by the mile.

Romans 5:3-4  

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope

Finishing with a new 5K personal best Thanksgiving Day 2012
Asheville NC

Eventually, I started running longer and I joined a group of amazing friends with the Orubo running group here in town. I have learned that the running network in Greenville is full of amazing and inspirational people. Local road races are like BFF reunions! But perhaps the most amazing thing I have witnessed is how God has used this experience to bring me so much closer to Him. No longer have I been walking around in a fog of fatigue and malaise, but now I have such greater mental acuity and I feel so much better. I have experienced the morning air in frigid temperatures and something happens to my thoughts throughout the day that constantly bring me closer to God. I have peace at work. I have motivation to get up in the morning - - even at 4:15 am to go out in the cold and run. I began craving His word and time with God every day. I began noticing God more and more in everything happening in my life. It was not that "God showed up," but rather He had been there the whole time...I just finally took the time to really notice Him in everyday life!

And this led me to a painfully obvious conclusion about my relationship with God.

finishing my first marathon with my stepson Alex 2010
Richmond VA

Just as I remain committed to getting out of bed each day and heading out for a run that can be hard and grueling, the rewards are 100-fold. And my relationship with God is much the same. He expects me to work hard. And He puts some seemingly insurmountable challenges in my path. But He has equipped me to do the work He puts before me. And when the day is done, the reward is great. I have a very hard time putting into words how I feel when I know I have just done something that should have been miserable and impossible, but is instead amazing and wonderful. God's plans for me fill up my heart with an indescribable joy.

Colossians 1:11

May you be strengthened with all power according to his glorious might, 

for all endurance and patience with joy

People ask me all the time, "how do you do what you do?" Or, "your job must be so depressing...I could never do it." And certainly when I step back and look at what I do from the outside, I can see how people would perceive that. Yes, there are hard days. Just like some long runs are hard....but life is not a walk in the park. It is a marathon. And we have to train daily for what God has ahead for us. Sinking myself in His word every day is my training plan. I cannot lie back idle and ignore the race that is ahead of me. God has given us a great gift....a plan for our life, with the tools to run the race. Our Bible is our instruction and proof that He is coaching us through this life.

We simply have to get up each morning and head out for the run. The rewards are greater than we can even imagine. Jesus is our greatest fan and the only reason we can endure the job we have here.

I know this because He runs along with me every single day.

Finishing the OBX race 2012 with some of the greatest people I have ever known in the Orubo Running Group

Hebrews 12:1 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.